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Pick One: Lover or Friend?

Still, I'd like to have a FRIEND rather than a LOVER. Why? It's because at anytime, with all my vulnerabilities, someone may walk into my life and offer the love that he has. Then at the very instant it could be like magic; a whirlwind of intense feelings and seems that the only persons remained in this world are just the two of us. I could almost be handicapped; blind to the realities of life or deaf to opinions of those who care. I wouldn't care because high feelings are so irresistible. Everything seems so nice because of course someone is in love with me. What then is the difference between a lover and a friend? Hear it from me.


Photo courtesy of Fotosearch.com

First, a lover shows off only everything nice and hide flaws at the early stage of the relationship while a friend is never afraid to provide transparencies of himself. A lover always put the best foot forward because he really sells himself to gain acceptance. A real friend doesn't need to be pretentious because he simply wants to be liked for who he is.

Secondly, a lover can lie when treachery comes into place because he tries to keep his partner from being hurt; but treachery is least likely to happen among friendships because a friend cannot afford to hurt a friend's feelings. A (lying) lover is so afraid to lose his partner while he could go on cheating but a friend believes it is unfriendly to cheat the other.

Lastly, if that person is intimately here today and gone tomorrow, he is just a lover (momentarily). A friend can always be there at one place in my life and not necessarily a sexual partner. A lover can walk away when old flames won't keep on burning. A friend doesn't need burning flames to stay.

I'm afraid to have a lover like those mentioned above but somehow I want a lover who is not that kind. Basically it's my joy to have a friend. And I need a friend though somehow I want a friend and a lover in just one person. I want it, meaning I can live with or without it. There's a big difference.

Comments

I have to agree with you on this one. But sometimes and lover and a friend can be one and the same.

Wifey and me knew each other as friends for quite a while before we became lovers and we've never stopped being friends to each other even until this very day :)
Albine Bodo said…
Happy to hear you have such great and strong love relationship with your Wifey. Congratulations for being both a friend and a lover to each other. Keep it burning, Nick!