Albine's Corner

Image by: WoodZone.com (thanks) I'm celebrating Christmas in the NOW. I choose to feel Christmas everyday as a way of being happy always. The intensity of my feeling rises because the Philippines has the longest celebration of Christmas season, I think.

I was a fool... I was vulnerable... I couldn't control myself... But I have hoped! What are praises for? I'm not used to it, anyway. I haven't heard my parents praise me nor my brother does; and that, I don't understand. I just have few friends though and sometimes they praise me a little and I don't mind that attention. At work, knowing my boss, he is not the type of person to give praises generously. With my students, there are of course petty little comments but it outweighs those damn complaints against me. Thus overall, I hear just few praises since I got consciousness in the world.

In this post I give a partial list of the many things I'd like to thank God for. There is no specific order of importance but to make it easier to enumerate, I think I can follow the sequences of events I just did the whole day today... That I'm alive today. That I can breath and I can move. For another day or another 24 hours of time. For another chance to do the things I want to do. For peaceful night that has just passed by. For a good sleep and a chance to take a rest. For the mattress, the linens and the pillows that give comfort while I subject myself to snore and to dream. For the toilet seat that catches my body wastes. For the warm atmosphere the sun gives throughout the day. Such lead me to appreciate the damp of the wind over my skin. For the amazing light of the sun that makes it possible to see the beauty of all things in my environment. For the music, its rhythm or its beat that leads me to connect to my soul. For the physical exercise I had learned. For the joy a...

This entry must be Part 2 of my old post, entitled The Challenge of Dealing With A 'Little Grudge'. For a peaceful and happy life, they say that grudges or anger must be rejected or forgotten in just a short period of time. That might be true but very ideal. What I don't like about idealism is I end up being frustrated. At this point in time, I think I'm in the transition of adapting some kind of philosophy... details about it I couldn't express yet but as you dear readers go through this scribble , you'll probably get a glimpse on what I mean. Anyway I simply believe that there is no such thing as "forgetting the past" because every event that occurs in one's life tend to retain in memory be it positive or negative. What really is important are the feelings and the pattern of thoughts that grow each day within me. These things change. I knew I had been sick while keeping all those grudges but very hopeful that this sickness can be cured. Since ...

Music... what have you!? Thought the beat of you would make me so high... The silence in my room indeed broken; Zest to work hard, yes I got from you... But to what extent? And until when? Oh no, as if I'm back to same old story! This damn feeling of loneliness never leave me here. Why do I feel so empty? Ahhh, maybe I just have nothing. Nothing in this world but be heard... Nothing that I need is to express; Think I have lots of it in store, But where's the other end? Hey, music! Lucky you because I hear you. I listen to you, I can be with you all night! Thanks, you gave me company... But sorry to say that I hate you! ...Induced me to longing; Longing and longing.

More Than You Do Cats, baboons, blue skies, and vegetables; Things that trigger, my name to recall; I'm glad that not only a single key Can make you remember an ordinary me. But let me tell you, dear: I remember you more than you do. Our homes were at each opposite sides Of this small world, a sphere; From the moment that we connect, I knew you've been far and also you've been near. Since then, you said, so sweet to hear: You missed me so many times, That you wished I was there. But let me tell you, dear: I miss you more than you do. You react when you hear me say: "I think of you more than you do"; Same thing, you object when I wrote: "I miss you more than you do". So, you asked: How do I gauge that? Well, I use no gauge, in fact. The things I believe, the feelings I feel, The only one who can tell is me; If others can do better, I shall do the best that I can; If you do more than I can do, I shall exceed to all your ways.